1
Manic morning, Monday madness.
Fight the sheets, embrace brackish coffee, grit your teeth.
Wash warm skin, dry till cold. Look at mirror, you're so old.
No time to think. No time to act. Clean your teeth, that's a good lad.
Get on bus, say not a word, thank the driver, stare at the birds.
Steer your body, steer it well, work real hard, words mis-spelled.
The moments are here. They are real.
They breathe and they live and they flutter past our eyes.
I will hold on loosely.
Life is like a twisted tree, when you spend your life down on one knee.
Hands are charred black twigs.
Heart a knotted lump.
Legs still decaying stumps.
Hair, leaves which turn, falls to the floor.
Dark eyes will see no more.
Skin: brittle, breaking, abrasive.
Be driftwood. Be cast out. Be battered, brushed, and turned by the sea.
Finally polished.
Salute the sun.
Curl up by the fire.
Add a second blanket to the bed.
Take the edge off.
Bite frost back.
Warmed chilblains.
Fuel the giant furnace of your body.
Escape inevitable entropy.
Watch breath escape lungs.
Cold, whipped, face.
Hands in pockets.
Enjoy your blood pulsating perpetually through unyielding veins.
Have a nightcap. Just a nip. Feel it adding false heat. That'll put hair on your chest.
May your kettle never turn cold.
Rip me, shred me, duplicate me.
Throw me, fold me, hold me.
Stare at my face, read my thoughts.
Rest your hands on me.
Punch me, touch me, and feel my warmth.
Smell me when I'm young.
Smell me when I'm old.
I'm your guilty pleasure.
Cast me out in fury.
Let your tears fall on me when moved.
Stain my skin. Fill me up.
Forget me when you're done.
Fungible, and unique.
Stare at me blankly:
hate me like nothing else.
Let your oil and grime seep into me.
I'll hold you long after you're gone.
Rip me, shred me, duplicate me.
Throw me, fold me, hold me.
I'm yours.
Think of your thoughts.
Succulent billowing puffs of ephemera.
Clouds against the night-sky
Smoke billowing forth
Forming a froth
Whipped, stirred, and creamy.
Light as laughter, as heavy as the world.
You brace, push, heave: struggle.
Your shoulders stay true.
Stand tall. Stay upright.
It changes like the weather.
Dark tendrils consuming the sky:
Golden expanses of unending pasture.
Both true. Both awe-filled. Both impossible to hold.
They buffer, we strain, they possess, and we refrain
We are a universe. And we are our actions:
Thoughts made flesh.
They stroke, fight, and heal.
Pushing, turning and making things just that bit more.
Let the sky open up. Be taken by it.
Feel the tangled threads flow through you
Know which ones you know.
Know which you love.
Know that you'll let go
I will hold on loosely.
2
Life is like a twisted tree, when you spend your life down on one knee.
Hands are charred black twigs.
Heart a knotted lump.
Legs still decaying stumps.
Hair, leaves which turn, falls to the floor.
Dark eyes will see no more.
Skin: brittle, breaking, abrasive.
Be driftwood. Be cast out. Be battered, brushed, and turned by the sea.
Finally polished.
3
Salute the sun.
Curl up by the fire.
Add a second blanket to the bed.
Take the edge off.
Bite frost back.
Warmed chilblains.
Fuel the giant furnace of your body.
Escape inevitable entropy.
Watch breath escape lungs.
Cold, whipped, face.
Hands in pockets.
Enjoy your blood pulsating perpetually through unyielding veins.
Have a nightcap. Just a nip. Feel it adding false heat. That'll put hair on your chest.
May your kettle never turn cold.
4
Rip me, shred me, duplicate me.
Throw me, fold me, hold me.
Stare at my face, read my thoughts.
Rest your hands on me.
Punch me, touch me, and feel my warmth.
Smell me when I'm young.
Smell me when I'm old.
I'm your guilty pleasure.
Cast me out in fury.
Let your tears fall on me when moved.
Stain my skin. Fill me up.
Forget me when you're done.
Fungible, and unique.
Stare at me blankly:
hate me like nothing else.
Let your oil and grime seep into me.
I'll hold you long after you're gone.
Rip me, shred me, duplicate me.
Throw me, fold me, hold me.
I'm yours.
5
Think of your thoughts.
Succulent billowing puffs of ephemera.
Clouds against the night-sky
Smoke billowing forth
Forming a froth
Whipped, stirred, and creamy.
Light as laughter, as heavy as the world.
You brace, push, heave: struggle.
Your shoulders stay true.
Stand tall. Stay upright.
It changes like the weather.
Dark tendrils consuming the sky:
Golden expanses of unending pasture.
Both true. Both awe-filled. Both impossible to hold.
They buffer, we strain, they possess, and we refrain
We are a universe. And we are our actions:
Thoughts made flesh.
They stroke, fight, and heal.
Pushing, turning and making things just that bit more.
Let the sky open up. Be taken by it.
Feel the tangled threads flow through you
Know which ones you know.
Know which you love.
Know that you'll let go
Think of your thoughts.
The weight of your body
Sinks you to the ground
Holds your feet in place
All this: stuff
Objects in space
Mass of blood, bone, guts, and skin
This thing you can steer
That has kinks, pains, limitations
Filled with innumerable cells
You can't remodel
You're stuck
Each feckless freckle
Knobbly knee, Weak wrist, Short sighted,
This is you
Every scar, hair, pimple, and pore
Fucking own it.
Let me not die while I am alive
Let laughter, lightness, love, and meaning
Resonate out of my chest
And out into the world
Bouncing off those I stumble across
Let me not die while I am alive
Let my memories hold in my head
So I can picture those I love
When they are not around
To carry me when things get dark
Let me not die while I am alive
Let me have the courage to stand up
And shout so loud it rips my lungs apart
That I give a fuck
When others are coldly indifferent
Or battered from waving the banner for so long
Let me not die while I am alive
Let my days have purpose
Let sparks flicker in my eyes
Let me care until my final breath
Amen
Lipping water flows through hands
Charred chapped lips - barren lands
Mind like a sieve
Nodding at words
Laugh at punch-line
Hopes holding high –
Forget names, dates, faces
Remember, remember
Sullied appointments
Rushed writing down
Outsource retention
Repeat. Rewatch. Reread.
Repeat. Rewatch. Reread.
Stay here. Stay right here.
Trapped in the stillness of the moment
Enjoy this. It is perfect.
Still your breath.
Heartbeat drums steadily.
Thums pulsing
–! –! –! –! –!
Feel each iamb
Hold your own hand.
Calm your mind.
Find soft focus.
Hold it. Stay with it.
Don't let go.
Body stagnant.
Awkward stillness.
Itch slack skin.
Dull pain bubbles up, and courses down.
Damp fills nostrils.
Birds warble.
Focus lost.
Find quiet.
Sit. Stop. Feel.
This is it.
Embrace raw feeling.
Don't be shy.
You are the universe.
You are the universe being.
Be.
Broken glass embedded
Deep within tender skin
Some known, some unknown
Each vital
Finding each shard
Under bright light and magnifying glass
Taking precise tweezers
Steady hand, and tight grip
Digging, and digging, and digging
Some come out easily
Ejected by the body
Some buried down so deep
That it might kill me coming out
Realise each part is there
It has been inserted into flesh
I’ll dig, and I’ll dig, and I’ll dig
Hopefully, there will be some of me left.
Birds, the colour of fire
Moss growing on trees.
Crickets rocketing through
Old fragile bones, creaking knees
Weather-worn suitcase
Protective canopy overhead
Clasps rusted open
Paths left untread
6
The weight of your body
Sinks you to the ground
Holds your feet in place
All this: stuff
Objects in space
Mass of blood, bone, guts, and skin
This thing you can steer
That has kinks, pains, limitations
Filled with innumerable cells
You can't remodel
You're stuck
Each feckless freckle
Knobbly knee, Weak wrist, Short sighted,
This is you
Every scar, hair, pimple, and pore
Fucking own it.
7
Let me not die while I am alive
Let laughter, lightness, love, and meaning
Resonate out of my chest
And out into the world
Bouncing off those I stumble across
Let me not die while I am alive
Let my memories hold in my head
So I can picture those I love
When they are not around
To carry me when things get dark
Let me not die while I am alive
Let me have the courage to stand up
And shout so loud it rips my lungs apart
That I give a fuck
When others are coldly indifferent
Or battered from waving the banner for so long
Let me not die while I am alive
Let my days have purpose
Let sparks flicker in my eyes
Let me care until my final breath
Amen
8
Lipping water flows through hands
Charred chapped lips - barren lands
Mind like a sieve
Nodding at words
Laugh at punch-line
Hopes holding high –
Forget names, dates, faces
Remember, remember
Sullied appointments
Rushed writing down
Outsource retention
Repeat. Rewatch. Reread.
Repeat. Rewatch. Reread.
Stay here. Stay right here.
Trapped in the stillness of the moment
Enjoy this. It is perfect.
9
Still your breath.
Heartbeat drums steadily.
Thums pulsing
–! –! –! –! –!
Feel each iamb
Hold your own hand.
Calm your mind.
Find soft focus.
Hold it. Stay with it.
Don't let go.
Body stagnant.
Awkward stillness.
Itch slack skin.
Dull pain bubbles up, and courses down.
Damp fills nostrils.
Birds warble.
Focus lost.
Find quiet.
Sit. Stop. Feel.
This is it.
Embrace raw feeling.
Don't be shy.
You are the universe.
You are the universe being.
Be.
10
Broken glass embedded
Deep within tender skin
Some known, some unknown
Each vital
Finding each shard
Under bright light and magnifying glass
Taking precise tweezers
Steady hand, and tight grip
Digging, and digging, and digging
Some come out easily
Ejected by the body
Some buried down so deep
That it might kill me coming out
Realise each part is there
It has been inserted into flesh
I’ll dig, and I’ll dig, and I’ll dig
Hopefully, there will be some of me left.
11
Birds, the colour of fire
Moss growing on trees.
Crickets rocketing through
Old fragile bones, creaking knees
Weather-worn suitcase
Protective canopy overhead
Clasps rusted open
Paths left untread
Bright fireflies in the dark
Starlight carried here to earth
Light up the undergrowth
To see the size, weight, and girth
Acorns crunch under heavy feet
Leaves crumble as they fall
Trees stretch up to the mountains
Look at yourself. You're so small.
Have you accepted what this is?
Have you stopped trying to piece it all together?
Does it still boil deep inside you?
Lost and terrified and ecstatic and curious
The sheer absurdity
Cultivate it
Don't settle for the first answer you find
Raise your thoughts to a crescendo
Smash them together
Play thought-conks
Smile wildly
Take every moment
Seriously. Take it.
Quite moments.
Question
What is this?
Amen
Hunger pangs disrupt thoughts
The feeling has moved from my stomach up to my throat
I don’t want to leave
Hunger drums steadily
Bladder slowly fills
Suppress the urge
Body yells to act
Go. Now.
I don’t want to leave
Basking in each other’s warmth
I want to be beside you
Breath you in
Don’t let time erode this
Just this once
Search for spells that enchant you.
Hear voices. Hearts beating with urgency:
Reach out -
Resonate at the same frequency.
Within, lies.
Rests and reassurance.
Stroking and dangerous goods.
Crack open your chest with messy fingers:
Find the good stuff.
Found in a continuum of time
Travel with the through-line
Dissonance to resolution
Tension to release
Each moment laid on the last
Bead, after bead, after bead,
Linked on this chain
Pushed into the present
Forced into this moment
Act. React. Act. React.
I will not fight.
There is no way back.
If the yellow moon split open
Yolk spilling forth
If swarms of dragonflies
forgot how to fly
If honey-fog hardened
Amber frozen in mid air
If feet planted into earth
Roots growing deep
If owls hid indoors
Refusing to hear, see, leave
If all eyes turned to
Stare, deep into the void
If the hollowness inside Imploded
If delicate touch burned
I would adjust
But if bitter bile
Fills the world to the brim
I'm out.
Finding solid ground
Feet into board into dirt into earth
Tempo inbuilt and finely tuned
Nerves, synapses, muscles, firing
Skin against skin
Flowing, breathing, holding
Aware - attention active
Prepared actions performed
Moves turning into meaning
Synchronised breath
Imagine the place where
You have enough time
Cut through
The bad Rage songs
The supermarket queue
The slow long trips
And the waiting rooms
Imagine - The place where you
Pursue things calling your name
Freedom
Time with the people you want
Time with beautiful ideas
No rush
No haste
No fighting for each moment
I dream of this each day
But forget it each night
Like listening for the first time
I hear sounds coming ever near
Wishing that this fact was fiction
Searching for the worn pages
To skip through these parts
Just get to the end
The end would be better
Screaming howling hellish cries
These soft eyes of hurt and confusion
They ask and accuse
I cannot answer
Buy an investment property
Don't live in it: Rent it out!
Feel the power of negative gearing
The power of numbers:
Crunch those numbers
Move those numbers
Seduce those numbers
Don't have a one night stand
Be gentle
Caress them
Stroke them
Knead them
Need
They'll take care of you
Get you to the doctor
Pour warm soup down cold throats
Dressed nice, clean, sharp & proper
Why stop?
They are beautiful creatures
Seduce another
A multitude!
All yours
You could have a harem
A portfolio
Better & better & better & better
Buy an investment property
Become a Slum-Lord
The solid thuming continues
Rolls along in this sweet song
Shutting noise: to hear your ear
Watch complex colours inside closed eyes
When blackness becomes them, and look
Carefully
Body pumping along
Never at rest
Fixated, engaged, and being
Rise and fall of breath
Attention always drawn
Unyielding momentum
Shifting weight
Impossible stillness
Harnessed & Wait-locked
Stalled, stopped, stilled,
In the mind’s eye
Hear with hair-pricked ears
When will this be ready?
Pouring cold lasting liquid
But it’s never right, Right?
This strange place
Accept
Break inertia
Bend
Propel
Spoiled
Unending voices calling my name
To hear their words,
To feel their hands,
To see their worlds,
Become completely taken
Pour precious life
Make these experience live
Unbroken spines - stare at me knowingly
And pages go unread
Covers stay ready and primed for attention
They remain static
Favourite films fervently told
Are long ago forgotten
Countless promises of meaningful experiences
Continue to be broken
And I remain spoiled
Built of carbon
Fuel escaping upon breath
Body begging for oxygen
Salty sweat matting hair
Potential energy being
Exhausted & contorted
Legs shaking like a foal
Don't push
Hold
Find more within
This will not defeat
This will not destroy
Follow this path
Calm your breath
Fall into this body
Find soft focus
You're strong
Stapled sky billows grey
Machines keep on ticking
Words that we don't say
Are caught inside tickling
Abrasive asphalt holds still
Hands buried inside pockets
Dig deep, find your will
Secrets locked in lockets
Starlight carried here to earth
Light up the undergrowth
To see the size, weight, and girth
Acorns crunch under heavy feet
Leaves crumble as they fall
Trees stretch up to the mountains
Look at yourself. You're so small.
12
Have you stopped trying to piece it all together?
Does it still boil deep inside you?
Lost and terrified and ecstatic and curious
The sheer absurdity
Cultivate it
Don't settle for the first answer you find
Raise your thoughts to a crescendo
Smash them together
Play thought-conks
Smile wildly
Take every moment
Seriously. Take it.
Quite moments.
Question
What is this?
Amen
13
Hunger pangs disrupt thoughts
The feeling has moved from my stomach up to my throat
I don’t want to leave
Hunger drums steadily
Bladder slowly fills
Suppress the urge
Body yells to act
Go. Now.
I don’t want to leave
Basking in each other’s warmth
I want to be beside you
Breath you in
Don’t let time erode this
Just this once
14
Hear voices. Hearts beating with urgency:
Reach out -
Resonate at the same frequency.
Within, lies.
Rests and reassurance.
Stroking and dangerous goods.
Crack open your chest with messy fingers:
Find the good stuff.
15
Found in a continuum of time
Travel with the through-line
Dissonance to resolution
Tension to release
Each moment laid on the last
Bead, after bead, after bead,
Linked on this chain
Pushed into the present
Forced into this moment
Act. React. Act. React.
I will not fight.
There is no way back.
16
If the yellow moon split open
Yolk spilling forth
If swarms of dragonflies
forgot how to fly
If honey-fog hardened
Amber frozen in mid air
If feet planted into earth
Roots growing deep
If owls hid indoors
Refusing to hear, see, leave
If all eyes turned to
Stare, deep into the void
If the hollowness inside Imploded
If delicate touch burned
I would adjust
But if bitter bile
Fills the world to the brim
I'm out.
17
Finding solid ground
Feet into board into dirt into earth
Tempo inbuilt and finely tuned
Nerves, synapses, muscles, firing
Skin against skin
Flowing, breathing, holding
Aware - attention active
Prepared actions performed
Moves turning into meaning
Synchronised breath
18
Imagine the place where
You have enough time
Cut through
The bad Rage songs
The supermarket queue
The slow long trips
And the waiting rooms
Imagine - The place where you
Pursue things calling your name
Freedom
Time with the people you want
Time with beautiful ideas
No rush
No haste
No fighting for each moment
I dream of this each day
But forget it each night
19
Like listening for the first time
I hear sounds coming ever near
Wishing that this fact was fiction
Searching for the worn pages
To skip through these parts
Just get to the end
The end would be better
Screaming howling hellish cries
These soft eyes of hurt and confusion
They ask and accuse
I cannot answer
20
Don't live in it: Rent it out!
Feel the power of negative gearing
The power of numbers:
Crunch those numbers
Move those numbers
Seduce those numbers
Don't have a one night stand
Be gentle
Caress them
Stroke them
Knead them
Need
They'll take care of you
Get you to the doctor
Pour warm soup down cold throats
Dressed nice, clean, sharp & proper
Why stop?
They are beautiful creatures
Seduce another
A multitude!
All yours
You could have a harem
A portfolio
Better & better & better & better
Buy an investment property
Become a Slum-Lord
21
Rolls along in this sweet song
Shutting noise: to hear your ear
Watch complex colours inside closed eyes
When blackness becomes them, and look
Carefully
Body pumping along
Never at rest
Fixated, engaged, and being
Rise and fall of breath
Attention always drawn
Unyielding momentum
Shifting weight
Impossible stillness
22
Harnessed & Wait-locked
Stalled, stopped, stilled,
In the mind’s eye
Hear with hair-pricked ears
When will this be ready?
Pouring cold lasting liquid
But it’s never right, Right?
This strange place
Accept
Break inertia
Bend
Propel
23
Spoiled
Unending voices calling my name
To hear their words,
To feel their hands,
To see their worlds,
Become completely taken
Pour precious life
Make these experience live
Unbroken spines - stare at me knowingly
And pages go unread
Covers stay ready and primed for attention
They remain static
Favourite films fervently told
Are long ago forgotten
Countless promises of meaningful experiences
Continue to be broken
And I remain spoiled
24
Built of carbon
Fuel escaping upon breath
Body begging for oxygen
Salty sweat matting hair
Potential energy being
Exhausted & contorted
Legs shaking like a foal
Don't push
Hold
Find more within
This will not defeat
This will not destroy
Follow this path
Calm your breath
Fall into this body
Find soft focus
You're strong
25
Stapled sky billows grey
Machines keep on ticking
Words that we don't say
Are caught inside tickling
Abrasive asphalt holds still
Hands buried inside pockets
Dig deep, find your will
Secrets locked in lockets
Blurred buildings stand tall
Rise & fall & push & pull
Tethered tightly to the land
Fill your heart till full
Frayed mind cannot rest
Gentle hands to worship
Give me something to attest
Something you can't interpret
Laugh loud
Laugh often
Laugh when the clowns falls down
Laugh and be glad you’re still standing
Laugh when the Zani fight over crumbs
Laugh at the greed of the villain
Laugh when he gets just deserts
Laugh in the face of the abyss
Laugh when the night comes crushing in tightly
Laugh at the questions that should make sense
Laugh at yourself
Laugh till your sides start splitting open
Laugh till tears are streaked in your eyes
Laugh till you can’t breathe anymore
Laugh till it hurts
This absurd moment
Take it, feel it, weigh it
And laugh
Sounds surround worn shoulders
Abandoned pile of boulders
Feet torn, bloody, and limp
Look upwards: golden glint
Muscles ache deep, depleted
Wounds gashed open, untreated
Pinpoint eyes stare outwards still
Upwards always, up the hill
Liver lost; emotions dry
Above expanse of endless sky
Dreams flash quickly inside mind
Embrace moments being reclined
Tools are down, time for rest
Inside heart: a tiny crest
Sift through the chaff
Dig in deep with messy hands
Put your arm in up to the elbow
Filter the bright noise of the day
Escape to familiar tones
Fight for your power of choice
Try and skip the blaring advertisement
Close the putrid pop-ups
Know how deeply they effect you
Catch-phrases buried deep inside
Jingles I know more completely
Than the constellations of the sky
Brands more recognisable than water
Colours given unnatural meanings
Cultural rituals skilfully crafted
Close your eyes. Find quiet.
Know there are other ways.
Warm heaviness of emotion
Gentle happiness bubbling
Insides chime after struck
Chords keep on ringing
Ears humming in tune
Silent sound; a noise for dogs
A reminder
A knot tied on the finger
A gift wrapped neatly
Bow. String. Neat. Crisp.
Whispering
You’re in the right spot
Cracked and broken
Peeling shell off new skin
Exposed rawness sensitive
Cold tingles rush over
Searching bleary-eyed
Feathers wet and stuck
Covered dark cave creaks open
Milky light warms unknown body
Caring hands support and give
Trust for the unknown
Forthcoming future
Someone who had trod this
Hope fills heart
I can do the same
Rise & fall & push & pull
Tethered tightly to the land
Fill your heart till full
Frayed mind cannot rest
Gentle hands to worship
Give me something to attest
Something you can't interpret
26
Laugh loud
Laugh often
Laugh when the clowns falls down
Laugh and be glad you’re still standing
Laugh when the Zani fight over crumbs
Laugh at the greed of the villain
Laugh when he gets just deserts
Laugh in the face of the abyss
Laugh when the night comes crushing in tightly
Laugh at the questions that should make sense
Laugh at yourself
Laugh till your sides start splitting open
Laugh till tears are streaked in your eyes
Laugh till you can’t breathe anymore
Laugh till it hurts
This absurd moment
Take it, feel it, weigh it
And laugh
27
Abandoned pile of boulders
Feet torn, bloody, and limp
Look upwards: golden glint
Muscles ache deep, depleted
Wounds gashed open, untreated
Pinpoint eyes stare outwards still
Upwards always, up the hill
Liver lost; emotions dry
Above expanse of endless sky
Dreams flash quickly inside mind
Embrace moments being reclined
Tools are down, time for rest
Inside heart: a tiny crest
28
Dig in deep with messy hands
Put your arm in up to the elbow
Filter the bright noise of the day
Escape to familiar tones
Fight for your power of choice
Try and skip the blaring advertisement
Close the putrid pop-ups
Know how deeply they effect you
Catch-phrases buried deep inside
Jingles I know more completely
Than the constellations of the sky
Brands more recognisable than water
Colours given unnatural meanings
Cultural rituals skilfully crafted
Close your eyes. Find quiet.
Know there are other ways.
29
Gentle happiness bubbling
Insides chime after struck
Chords keep on ringing
Ears humming in tune
Silent sound; a noise for dogs
A reminder
A knot tied on the finger
A gift wrapped neatly
Bow. String. Neat. Crisp.
Whispering
You’re in the right spot
30
Cracked and broken
Peeling shell off new skin
Exposed rawness sensitive
Cold tingles rush over
Searching bleary-eyed
Feathers wet and stuck
Covered dark cave creaks open
Milky light warms unknown body
Caring hands support and give
Trust for the unknown
Forthcoming future
Someone who had trod this
Hope fills heart
I can do the same
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